


Guilty Cubicles

by Leafling



Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Fraternization, Inappropriate neighbors, Office Relationship, Older Man/Younger Woman, Parody, Sexual Humor, coarse language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-20 23:49:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leafling/pseuds/Leafling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fraternizing was against the rules. Somehow, Director Fury didn't get the memo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guilty Cubicles

**Author's Note:**

> Written based on a terribly inappropriate conversation with my sister. Yes, I know I'm a terrible person.

Miranda Hendricks, the fresh meat around the SHIELD headquarters and an absolute bombshell. With her long obsidian-colored waves that framed her beautiful face, and curled down to her round, perky breast; breast that were hardly covered by those flimsy camisoles that she liked to wear under her skin tight blazers. The way she dressed was borderline obscene, micro-sized miniskirts that melded to her body and were just a fraction too short to cover her garter straps; sky-high 'screw-me' heels that lengthened her already long, shapely legs; and hoop earrings that were neither too big nor too small—just enough to bring attention to her neck. In short, Miranda was so freakin' hot that she had all the guys in the office panting over her.

Even Tony Stark got weak in the knees whenever she bent over to drink from the water-fountain and exposed an ample amount of cleavage. Miranda was the hottest new-toy to come into the headquarters…which is why she found herself in Director Fury's office, making adjustments to their plans for the impending evening.

Her hands planted firmly on the desk as she leaned flushed against it and regarded Nick with half-lidded, silver-gray eyes. Her thick, false-lashes were heavy with mascara; fluttering like the great wings of a Monarch butterfly each time she blinked. Director Fury felt a little hot under the collar as she smirked at him and tapped her fingers rhythmically against the polished surface of the desk—eying him like a hungry predator.

"So, just to be sure, it's dinner and a movie? Or, are we going to skip all of that and go straight to the dessert?" Miranda purred, leaning further forward to expose her breast better.

Fury's jaw clenched as he tried not to stare so openly. Agh, she was so fine…! Too bad he only had one eye, because—DAMN! Just…damn. Nick tightened his fingers around his mechanical-pencil as he tried to maintain eye-contact with Miranda. "Whatever you'd prefer, Ms. Hendricks." He hissed, trying to keep his cool.

Miranda tsk'ed. "Ms. Hendricks? Oh, c'mon, Nick! We're going on a date tonight, you don't have to be all formal..."She teased, putting a knee up on the desk as she pulled herself onto the cool surface. Sitting on the desk as if it were a throne, she ran a finger across the Director's cheek. His dark complexion contrasted with her lighter one. Her fingertips were tickled by stubble on his jawline as she caressed it. Nick leaned in close as Miranda remained in his personal space. Their breath mingled in the short distance between them. The young woman smirked, "Unless, of course, Director Fury, you're into that sort of thing. While cliché, the Subordinate and Superior kink is still super-hot."

Their lips almost touched and their foreheads made gentle contact. Nick debated whether it would be wise to assuage his lust for her at that very moment. Then his phone began ringing, slicing through the thick tension like an excellently sharpened blade. Miranda hopped off the desk as Fury went to answer the phone. Throwing a sultry look over her shoulder, the dark-haired woman watched him momentarily before she sauntered out of the room. The Director exhaled sharply, loosening his tie…

—

They stumbled uncoordinatedly into her apartment, necking like rowdy teenagers as Fury held her fast against him. The door slammed behind them. Miranda hardly had any time to do up the lock before she was pushed back into the hard surface and kissed to within an inch of her life. The Director seemed to be beside himself with desire, moving against her like a man determined.

Miranda gasped when he sank his teeth into her neck. Her hands found either side of his head and as soon as her grip was firm, the dark-haired woman pulled him off. "Ow, geez… I'm not made of glass, but I certainly wasn't built to be bitten like that." She groused as she held Fury at bay with one hand and rubbed her aching flesh with the other. After a moment of rubbing, she brought that hand into view and grimaced as she saw how it shimmered with excess saliva. Wiping her hand on her blouse, she reached up and pulled Nick back down for a passionate kiss.

Fury carded his fingers through her hair, sealing their mouths together. His fingernails scraping harshly against Miranda's scalp; she shrieked in pain at the rough treatment, the sound muffled against his lips. Pulling away once more, she tried to play off her discomfort. "How about I get us something to drink while you go slip into something more comfortable?" She suggested.

Nick nodded, kissing her soundly one last time and heading off to the bathroom. Miranda sighed as she gingerly touched her scalp. She could feel the angry-red tracks that The Director's nails left. Grimacing, she toed out of her shoes and threw them into the rack by the door. Stalking over to the kitchen, Miranda pulled off her stockings and balled them up. Tucking them into her pocket, she opened the fridge and found two unopened bottles of Smirnoff. Uncapping one, she began to chug it greedily. She was going to need a helluva lot of alcohol if she was going to get through this night. No offense to Fury, but if he wasn't everyone's boss, she wouldn't even consider putting her ankles passed her ears for him. She had standards, and appearance-wise, he wasn't even close to meeting them.

As Miranda drank 'til her heart's content, Nick stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom, grooming and examining himself. With some moisturizer from the medicine cabinet, Fury polished his bald-head until it shined in the artificial illumination. Massaging the cream into his scalp, the man paused as he reached into his mouth and pulled out his Invisaligns. Running his tongue over his teeth, Nick checked his breath. It still smelled minty-fresh… Good. With a hearty pat of his protruding gut, Fury he slipped out of his clothes and folded them neatly before placing them on the bathroom counter. His utility-belt, gloves, boots, trench-coat and other accessories went with them. Taking a deep breath, Fury splashed water on his face and patted his cheeks until they were warm. It was go time.

Strolling out of the bathroom like a puma, The Director wolf-whistled at the sight of Miranda undressing in front of the mirror. She looked up from unbuttoning her shirt and made eye-contact with Fury. Managing a smile, she shrugged out of her blouse before spinning around pressing her bared back against the cold surface of the looking glass. "Hello, Nick…" she cooed. Running her fingers through her hair seductively, the woman pushed herself off the mirror and advanced on Fury slowly.

Panting like a porn-star from a D-rank flick, she caught him by the collar of his tank-top and dragged him towards the bed. He was compliant, letting himself be pulled along as he tried to plant kisses on the exposed expanse of Miranda's neck and shoulders.

When they got to the bed, Miranda was wearing nothing but her bra and panties—somehow, she had managed to fully undress in the short duration of the walk. Lying down on the soft eiderdown, Miranda scooted up the length of the bed until her shoulders found the smoothness of her pillows and the sturdiness of her headboard. With a sultry smirk, she crooked a finger at Fury; beckoning him over.

The Director rubbed his hands together approvingly—like a kid who had just discovered what they were getting for Christmas—before he got onto the bed. Crawling up the mattress until he was hovering over Miranda, Nick noted in horror that her panties… oh, my god. Her bloomers came up over her belly-button, (almost to her boobs, actually) and had splotches of random, rather unpleasant colors on them. He hoped they had just been ruined in the wash, elsewise… He shuddered.

Fury adverts his eyes as he removed the offending article of clothing; sending them sailing across the room with an uncaring chuck over his shoulder, the bald-man got back to business. Reaching behind Miranda, he unclasped her bra. Pulling it free from her arms, Fury prepared to throw it as well when he noticed something else was awry. Miranda's breast… they looked smaller, somehow. Looking down at the pale blue brassiere in his hands, he startled. The padding, it was immense! Holy crap, it was like a whole two cup sizes were lost after she took the bra off. Fondling the thick stuffing, he tossed it. His boner was almost completely gone at this point. Fury huffed.

Miranda tried to diffuse the situation, knowing that if she didn't get this train chugging along the tracks, she wouldn't get that promotion or that corner office she'd been eyeing. Pulling Fury down onto her, Miranda batted her lashes. "C'mon, babe, we don't have all night... unless, you don't have anywhere to be tomorrow?"

Nick nodded resolutely. Granny panties and Bombshell-bras weren't going to keep him from getting it from the hottest chick in the SHIELD headquarters! Pulling his tank top off, Fury didn't notice how Miranda recoiled in horror at the sight of his potbelly, thinning salt-and-paper chest-hair, and scrawny twig-looking arms. "Got any condoms?" The Director asked, suddenly realizing that he didn't bring one.

Miranda looked scandalized. "Do I look like..." she interrupted herself with an aggravated exhale. Climbing from under Fury and off the bed, she went into the bathroom to search out an appropriate contraceptive. Finding a fairly new condom she had gotten at a HIV-awareness drive, Miranda stomped back into her bedroom... and almost screamed as she watched Fury remove his boxers to reveal a think patch of steel-wool pubic-hair. A chill went up her spine then as she truly realized how old Fury really was. Old and unkempt...

As those underwear slid down Fury's boney, chicken-legs, Miranda felt her lunch threaten to come up. Steeling her nerves as she thought again about that promotion and that sparkly new office, Miranda joined Fury on the bed once again.

As the evening's main event began, the bed began to rock. The brass frame tingling like keys. Fury stared at the wall, trying to focus. Miranda stared at the ceiling, trying to remind herself that her dignity was still intact. As they thought of everything and anything but one another, a sharp series of bangs against the wall made them jump. From the other side of said wall, a disgruntled tenant hollered. "Ugh, Miranda, again? Another fucking loser has found his way into your bed? Your parents would be ashamed!"

Fury looked down at Miranda, his alarmed eye met hers. She looked sheepish. "The walls... they're paper-thin—"

"Yeah, I can hear you two. You guys are fucking noisy, if you didn't know. And, look, I don't want to make this awkward for you guys, but can you hurry the hell up? I got work in the morning and all the screwing's gonna keep me up."

Fury felt his 'interest' disappear completely.

"Eh, don't stop now! You already interrupted Castle-time, slamming the door like you were raised in a fucking barn. Get in there and get it in before it's too late!"

Miranda pulled a pillow from under her head and stuffed her face in it. As everything quieted down, Fury shrugged before continuing. The bedframe shook more vigorously than it had before. Knocking against the wall over and over, again.

"Eh, Miranda, why'd you get all quiet? You're having sex, not checking out a book in the library!"

The woman grimaced before peeking her head out from under the pillow. "Ah...ha...hah..." she mewled uncertainly.

"Are you patronizing him? Why're you laughin'... is there something funny?"

Fury groaned, before stopping. "You mind butting the hell out?" The Director snapped angrily.

The neighbor grew silent for a moment. "Okay, fine... 'm gonna watch a movie." He supplied. Seconds later the sound of the television being turned on, followed by the sound of the credits starting filled the air.

"We may not be able to save the world, but we sure as hell can avenge it." Came the sound of Robert Downey Jr's voice. Damn it... now Fury had the actor's face in his head. The Director tried to will the mental-image away, but couldn't. Fuck.

"Hey, he's got the sound on... hurry up, before the movie ends." Miranda urged.

Fury braced himself with his hands on either side of Miranda's head before he obeyed. Everything was going smoothly—until the bedframe crashed loudly against the wall and woke everyone in the apartment unit.

"The fuck...?" The neighbor shouted. "That's it! I tried to be nice, but y'all took my generosity and dragged it through the mud. I'm calling the police!"

Miranda startled, reaching for the sheets as she anticipated Fury climbing off of her and running away. Instead, he kept on shaking the bed until he was done. Afterwards, he jumped off the bed as if it were on fire and ran into the bathroom to clean himself up. Dressed and proper, Fury was gone before the police arrived. Miranda was relieved and pissed. More so pissed than relieved.

The next day at work, she dropped a folder on The Director's desk. It was filled with unsavory, potentially job-endangering information. Nick gave her that promotion, just as she thought.


End file.
